


Die For My Feelings

by SingingSilence



Category: OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes
Genre: Angst, Confusion on the other half, Depends, Enemies to still kind of enemies, Feelings of low self worth, Just got more inspiration, M/M, Not connected to my other fic, One of them is just having issues, Or could be left as a one shot, Trying to kill your lover, might have more chapters, true angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-15 22:37:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12330252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingSilence/pseuds/SingingSilence
Summary: Raymond gets sick of himself. He thinks he has a malfunction in his system like his sibling once did. But unlike hers, Raymond's refuses to go away. It doesn't matter how many times he reboots. He feels like he is damaged and the only way to fix himself is to dispose of the distraction. Unfortunately, Radicles doesn't want to die any time soon.





	Die For My Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This had no correlation to my other fic. I am still continuing that one, though! This was partially inspired by the "Rad Likes Robots" episode and a few other things. I just wanted to make something angsty I apologize.

Cold gears, wires, and metal parts. Raymond was positive that he was only made of the simplest things. Well, they couldn't have been that simple, he was a very complex and efficient machine. Nonetheless, if he had all these things in him, there should be no reason for him to be acting the way he was. His robotic heart lurched whenever he thought of the blue alien that worked at the plaza. It made him sick knowing that he didn't feel sick, which was very ironic to say the least. He absolutely hated it. Just looking at Radicles made him want to fire a laser beam right in his face. 

Then there was his sister. On a single rainy day, she had managed to malfunction. On that same day, she felt love for another. The other happened to be that same dastardly hero that drove Raymond to madness every single day. His time was spent trying to convince Shannon to reboot and go back to hating Radicles. How fortunate for her when it worked. Raymond had tried to reboot multiple times to no avail. This was evident through the black ash that coated the walls of his room, and the robotic parts he hid in his closet to be thrown out. He didn't know how much longer he could do this before his father noticed that he had exploded so many times. It was bothersome, to say the least. 

The grin on his face had been true when he threatened to kill Radicles. The pain inside of him embedded into his circuits as he pointed his laser cannon at the blue alien's shocked face. He was giving Rad a warning, but oh how he wished to fire. If it weren't for other circumstances, he would have never even warned him. His evil side had shown through that day. He truly didn't want his poor sister to be discontinued because of the hero. She was merely broken, after all. She didn't have a true problem like Raymond possessed. 

Though, despite the care he had for his sibling, there was something else inside of him. Jealousy, perhaps? He hated himself for thinking such things. Green _was _the color of envy. He couldn't fathom how he had come to such notions, but he continued to suprise himself all the same. The way that they looked at each other. It was alarming. He had really wanted to go with her. He had actually wanted to have a life with her. They had truly wanted to be together. Remembering that just crushed him. The other reason he had placed that dreaded cannon to his face. How dare he try to be with her. How dare he try to love his sister when her sensors were the only things that were broken. She was fine. He was the one suffering.__

__The only thing that Raymond could think of was to reboot over and over. Had he been built wrong? He couldn't have malfunctioned fourteen times in a row. This was real, and it was torture. He couldn't tell his father about it, or any of his siblings. This was his problem and his problem alone. He wouldn't dare let Lord Boxman know of this. He had to conceal this bitter feeling every time he had to attack the plaza. Fortunately, he wasn't sent often. However, he didn't know if that made him worse. With one sibling or the other being sent to attack the plaza, he was left to his own devices. Most of his time was spent in a small little gymnasium located in the vast robot factory, where he could try to keep himself distracted. Of course, his mind only seemed to wander as his actions towards the ball in his hands got harsher._ _

__Did he really hate Radicles? Or was it himself that he despised so much? After constant mulling over this, he had come to the conclusion that it might just be a little bit of both. The alien's stupid grin, his damn near perfect form, the way he seemed to carry himself whenever he was around others. Every little thing about the man remained burrowed in Raymond's mind. All of this was foreign to him. Why had he been built to feel things he knew he shouldn't feel? Was he being tested by Lord Boxman? Was this a game? He supposed that what Raymond hated about Radicles the most was the fact that he loved him._ _

__Love. Was that this strange feeling? He wanted it gone. He wished for its destruction. He wanted nothing more than to feel nothing. Nothing for that overly confident alien. Nothing for no one. He was evil, wasn't he? When he thought about it, he found himself in a shade of gray. He was the literally the technical son of a villain, but he cared about him too. He cared about his siblings, and his father, and he loved to partake in activities that didn't involve destroying the plaza. Despite having been made for the sheer purpose of destruction, that goal certainly hadn't been one of his most important priorities._ _

__He needed to find a way to end his feelings. He needed to destroy them. He couldn't allow himself to tear up whenever he was alone over his situation. He had to get through this without telling anyone, and he absolutely had to solve the issue. His eyes had turned red through his tears as he sat alone in his ash and robot part littered room. He understood what must be done._ _

__He had to kill Radicles._ _

__~~~~_ _

__Radicles was coated in sweat from all the work he had to do on what had been deemed "the hottest day of the year... so far". Lifting boxes in insanely hot weather was a great workout, but he still got tired. Rad tended to work in the back room of the bodega when he wanted to let his thoughts run wild. Radicles was surprised with how quickly he had gotten over Shannon after her malfunctioning incident. That was all it was to him after learning about it. Those robots were incapable of having feelings. They were created with the strict purpose of destroying the plaza and that was it._ _

__He couldn't say he didn't miss her. As much as he tried to forget Shannon, or any of the Boxmore bots, he just couldn't. Not only did they come to attack every day, but they were one of the few things that made his job at the bodega an interesting one. Fighting them was great for training. He loved getting to pummel them into the parking lot and throw them out later. He supposed that was simply because he wanted to take out his crushed feelings on the bots that caused the problem. They truly were evil. He didn't think he could ever forgive them for that._ _

__Radicles had finished sweeping up the store when he heard what sounded like rubble exploding. He ran outside with his fellow co-workers to see what the commotion was. They both looked equally confused. The alarm that signaled Boxman's warning of a robot attack hadn't come._ _

__Standing in the center of the plaza's parking lot was Raymond in none of his glory. He looked very different. His usual narcissistic stance and posture was off, he stared at the ground, and his mouth was shifted into a thin line. He looked miserable. One of his hands was replaced with a laser cannon, which was aimed at the new hole that had been added to the parking lot via laser blast._ _

__For a moment, the bodega workers just stared. They didn't know what to do. Radicles finally put up his fists, ready to fight the robot himself. He ran at Raymond, only for the robot to point his laser at him. When he was ready to blast, Radicles quickly moved out of the way. His eyes were blown wide with shock. He hadn't expected Raymond to be so straight forward. Was he still mad about his sister? Raymond refused to speak. Enid had run towards him, ready to take on the robot, but he brushed her aside as if she were nothing. Luckily, K.O. had stayed out of the fight and let the other two workers handle it, but it Raymond didn't seem to care about the ninja or the kid._ _

__His eyes were glowing a bright red as he stared at Radicles. He lifted his arm again, ready to fire._ _

__"Die..." he said, his voice hardly above a whisper._ _

__His blaster went off, but Radicles dodged it quickly. Radicles stared at him, confused by his single word statement. He had expected puns and comebacks from the robot, as well as his usual flamboyant way of fighting. This was far from how Raymond usually acted, and it really put Rad off. Radicles didn't have time to think before another blast was fired at him. "Just die already!" Raymond growled a little louder. Radicles had to move quickly so he could move out of the way. He ran towards Raymond to land a punch, but Raymond caught him. Within the moments that they were practically face to face, Rad could see Raymond's somewhat teary eyes. He had no time to be confused as Raymond wad already tossing him. Radicles scrambled out of the way before he could fire again._ _

__"Why don't you just die?!" Raymond shouted. Radicles could hear the slight waver in his voice. He sounded hurt, and Rad had no clue why. "What do you have against me?" He yelled back, hopping out of the way of another blast. Raymond appeared to be angry with him specifically, but Radicles had done absolutely nothing to provoke it._ _

__Another tear fell down Raymond's face as he moved towards Radicles, clearly trying his hardest to kill Rad. Before he could fire again, Radicles used his mind powers to grab Raymond's arm, flinging him to the ground and snapping his arm clean off. Raymond got back up again, sparks flying where the lethal appendage once was. The arm, still in its cannon form, sat on the ground in rubble. Raymond didn't seem to give up at that. He went for Raymond's other arm, but the robot quickly moved out of the way. His body jolted and he went to swing a punch at Rad, but the alien caught him before it landed, causing Ray to stagger forwards and fall._ _

__"Seriously! What is wrong with you!" Radicles said, landing a kick to Raymond's back and making him fall onto the ground. Raymond barely lifted his chest off the ground before Radicles placed a foot firmly on his back to keep him down, using his mind powers for more support. "You weren't called to attack the plaza by Boxman. You came here by yourself!" Radicles could have just busted Raymond right then and there, but he had questions. He was met with Raymond's glare beneath him, glowing red eyes viciously peering at the alien with the need to kill him. Rad almost didn't think that Raymond was currently himself. He was acting almost as if his personality had dissipated and he was left with only the need to destroy._ _

__That was, until the robot started crying. He didn't even know the robots were able to do that. He watched as tears leaked from Raymond's eyes, his expression softening. Once Raymond blinked again, he could see the glow fade away from his eyes, the simple rouge orbs meeting his own gaze. Rad had pinned him down, so Raymond didn't even bother trying to move. He remained still, his cooling fans kicking in after a moment. He had to tilt his head up due to the fact that he was pinned down by his back._ _

__Radicles was beyond freaked out. He squinted, just to see if this was some sort of trick and Raymond would try to kill him again, but it never came. They simply sat, Radicles on top of Raymond's back._ _

__"I hate you..." Raymond finally spoke. Radicles definitely believed it, Raymond didn't even need to say that. Though, looking down at the other's face only said otherwise. Raymond's cheeks were dusted with pink, and tears streaked his face. "Why are you here?" Radicles asked. Raymond looked down at the ground. "To destroy you," he answered bitterly. "I need you out of my head- I have to stop-" He cut himself off, letting out a frustrated whine._ _

__Radicles narrowed his eyes. What was all of this about? Why had he suddenly acted up? He had never seen Raymond so bloodthirsty before. "Did I... do something?" Rad asked, seriously confused. Raymond fidgeted under Radicles. "I need you gone so I can stop thinking about you..."_ _

__Rad raised his eyebrows. He hadn't expected that. He had half the mind to question if this was about Shannon, but he was already done with her. Was he trying to get revenge for her, or was it something else? Radicles lifted up Raymond and pinned him to the wall. "Are you malfunctioning or something?" He asked. "Don't tell me you got some weird sort of electric shock or something and now you want to just mercilessly kill me. I know, I'm great, but you guys gotta stop breaking-"_ _

__"It's not that! I can't tell you how many times I have rebooted! How many times I have tried to fix myself! The countless attempts to heal something that isn't broken. You're in my head. I can't get you out! I need to kill you so you can stop haunting me!" Raymond was finding that it was getting harder and harder not to break down. Radicles was giving up hope on him. He didn't know what was wrong. He wanted to check inside of Raymond just to see if something was messed up._ _

__"And then there was her..."_ _

__Radicles attention went back to Raymond. He must have been talking about Shannon. Rad wasn't exactly fond of remembering how easily he had fallen for her. He was hopeless when it came to romance, so he took the chance the moment he got it. He wasn't proud of himself for that, nor for falling for Shannon when she was merely busted due to a storm. Raymond continued, his voice laced with venom. "The way you looked at her... The fact that you wanted to be together..."_ _

__Radicles felt a small ping of shame. Raymond was right. He was guilty of taking advantage of her break down, assuming that she had simply fallen in love with him..._ _

__"And I'm not her..."_ _

__Radicles was astonished. He had to process what was going on. He stared down at Raymond, his cheeks flushing. Raymond looked overwhelmed, as if he were about to break down again and let his emotions get the best of him. Radicles was close to saying something else when Raymond turned on his rocket boosters. Radicles tried to grip on, but Raymond quickly took off, heading back to the factory. Radicles watched as he disappeared into Boxmore. He stared at the factory that loomed over the other side of the street._ _

__Trying to get himself in order again, he took a deep breath. They were just robots. They didn't have true feelings. Raymond was broken. He needed himself fixed. He was just a robot.__

____~~~~_ _ _ _

____Raymond knew he was safe in the confines of his room. In there, he was free to do whatever he wanted. Raymond sat on his bed, wiping his face of the tears that dared to fall. He was still missing an arm, but he didn't care. He would just reboot. Maybe the fifteenth time was the charm. Maybe that would fix him and it would all be over._ _ _ _

____His central processor ached painfully. He had a feeling that this would not go away._ _ _ _

____And he was terrified._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry for this. I might just keep it as a simple one-shot, or I might add some more to it. This all depends on if people really want more. I wanted to make something not quite as fluffy and happy as the other fic I made on here (even though that one is also a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.)


End file.
